Imperfect Immersions
Sheri Lynn Fella
My space is quiet and empty of activity this morning, and loud and overflowing with the energy of the incredible depth, humor, care and wisdom of the incredible masters that just left. I could literally feel that depth as I walked through the house. It was glorious…like walking through a fog of wisdom that you could feel deep in your bones.
As I was watering all of my plants, I found myself giving them my usual pep talk, “keep it up girls, you look so strong and beautiful…your roots are deep, you can withstand anything that nature throws at you…” and then I added an addition: “I get how you feel because I feel watered, too.”
And I do. I feel watered. Like I got a much-needed dose of Miracle-Gro, and as I sit here now writing and reflecting, I am so soaking up the fog left behind and intentionally trying to roll around in the space that will be between now and our next gathering of imperfection. That space between is so powerful for me to hold onto…like Judy Brown’s poem, “Fire”, that we recited, and like Dave Matthew’s song “The Space Between”… so much life in that space. The space to grow and to take in all that got washed over you. Not the outcomes, the wins, the losses, but the growing that is essential for the bloom up and out, and the grounded-ness down and in…and why do I use the phrase “gathering of imperfection”? Because that is what it is for this group of development masters.
Not the Outcomes, the Wins, the Losses, but the Growing…
We gather and share our imperfections and then use those to gain a different perspective or approach. Our imperfections are where the greatest learning potential is so we spend intentional time exploring those areas. Time to build safety which allows for vulnerability and understanding, and then time to role play and ask the hard questions which allow for new possibilities. Time for the challenge of a tightly held belief or blind spot we don’t yet see. It is not easy ground, it is hard ground and ground that is vital to growth.
For me this weekend felt like I was walking around the most beautiful garden. I felt witnessed, challenged, heard, seen, accepted…and expanded. I am breathing deeper, slower…like my lungs are liberated. And I am not only seeing new light, and feeling new light in me, but I am also reaching for it, for new sunbeams that felt out of reach, but now are within my grasp. Beams I can imagine growing up to. And I feel more human than I do inept.
I cannot express the gratitude I feel for all of this – the watering inside and outside. The growth rings left on me. I feel often like I am walking around in a dream that is so much better than I could have imagined on my own. I don’t know how all of these masterful and magical humans got here – to be in this garden together - and I cannot wait to see how we lighten, brighten, and color the world as our roots expand out into all of the spaces we touch. I feel a buzz as I envision the possibilities.
Development Can Happen Anywhere. It Isn’t the Setting, but the Climate that Matters
Because this kind of magic, this kind of garden is “impossible to accomplish alone”, just as David Whyte wrote. This kind of garden is never perfect because there would be no learning in it if it was. No, this garden is a gathering of the imperfect…and these kind of learning and connection immersions, filled with such intense vulnerability and courage, are how I grow best. It is messy, it is hard, it is roaring with fun and brimming with hope. And as always, it will require much intentional cultivation on my part to really harvest all that I was given.
And isn’t that how we all grow? We plant, we water, we weed, we grow, we harvest, we learn, we plant again. We are a constant garden of change, and it is the imperfection, the mess that spills out in the garden that teaches us the most. We pulled out all kinds of long-established roots in our immersive, imperfect garden – some we threw out and some we decided to replant. We co-created new ideas and planted them to see if they sprout, and we witnessed each other moment to moment - the anguish and triumph of hoeing tough rows and the elation of picking blooms that took so much care and toil to burst out.
Yes, development for me sometimes happens in Zoom or physical office space or at retreat cabins with executive teams or on my back porch. It isn’t the setting that matters most, it is the climate – the safety that is created to support courage and honesty, rawness and realness. Safety that I strive to create for my team, my family, and clients. When our brains are safe, they can maximize learning for us. And it is just a lot more fun. That is why I feel watered, not watered down. I feel invigorated and supercharged, and as I look to the fall months that are emerging for us here in the Midwest, I wonder how I can create deeper and broader safety…how I can cultivate the space to harvest even more wisdom, innovation, and connection. How can I continue to see the challenges ahead as opportunities for choice and change?
So much change has happened in the last months and in hindsight, it has been exactly what my team and I needed. The change lifted us to a new level of connectedness, performance, and growth, and it is exhilarating. As the fall colors emerge and show us how beautiful changes are, I will bask in the imperfection all around me and know that there is so much growth in all the unknown spaces.
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