Boundaries Help to Ground Yourself in Times of Change
Sheri Lynn Fella
Boundaries in rapid and constant change are hard to hold. For me, it is hard because what I need, don’t need, and when, how, and who I need it from, changes – especially in change. Constantly checking in with myself is the only way through for me. And by constantly, I mean . . . constantly. Every hour getting grounded in me requires some version of these questions . . .
How am I feeling? Why might I be feeling that way? How might I shift that feeling – if I want to – or hang onto it? What do I need right now? Whose support do I need right now? How can I best resource myself for the rest of the day?
These questions help me get present with myself and get me clear about how I am and what I need. During COVID, and even now, I required this kind of check-in to stay present and clear – not just about boundaries, but about me. Change is exhausting and exciting and demanding and liberating… depending on the hour I check in with myself.
Finding a Practice to Navigate Times of Change
As my team, client partners, and I emerge from COVID, we are all finding our way… finding our practice to navigate this change because each day feels different right now, and we are committed to making space for that constant shifting.
We hear our client partners’ frustrations as they navigate work-from-home and return-to-work approaches. Their approaches are constantly changing because how their employees are experiencing work and home is constantly changing. If you are a leader working toward a “final” policy on remote or flexible work environments, I wish you luck. From my perspective, I don’t see a “final” policy in the near future – unless your policy is “be flexible and agile. Repeat tomorrow.”
So much change is happening in our whole lives – from our profession to our families, from our teams to our kids, from our mobility to our options. The only no-changing space I can point to for myself is my meditation practice, which grounds me. I have to create daily stability and consistency for myself to avoid getting caught up in the undertow of the constant waves of change. Finding my own life preserver has been a challenge, and I suspect it will continue to be.
Some days I feel like my life jacket and I are bobbing along peacefully and the next moment I am yelling for help to my team and support circle. However I experience the day and the currents of change around me, I know my most important work is my own life jacket. How I can continue to deepen my awareness of myself, what I need, and how I need it – this is my work and it requires a massive dose of self-care each day.
Creating Space to Challenge Ourselves and Commit to Practices that Ground Us
The challenge of finding that space for self is why I created Bloombase and why the custom space of Advanced Women Leaders was launched 8 years ago. My vision was to create a space for women to ask these important questions and to challenge their awareness and so they could find their own clarity. Cohorts participate in monthly immersive sessions where they create boundaries by placing limits on availability and distractions so that the participant leaders keep their lives and their purpose as the focus for the session. Master coaches and facilitators challenge leaders to explore important possibilities and to practice new behaviors so that they leave AWL with measurable impact in their leadership, their performance, and their lives.
Caring for me is my most important practice, and when I practice that care consistently, I notice my capacity to serve and support others grows exponentially. Without it, if I lose that consistency, I lose a lot of capacity to serve those around me. This self-care practice is an important foundational element of the AWL experience, and I hope it is an important foundation for your own leadership practice.
How are you finding ways to practice grounding yourself amid these dynamic challenges?
