Such wisdom in the passage above and such beauty in the winding peaks and valleys of our collective life roads. The curves that take you by surprise and scare you, and the ones that open up to an unexpected expanse of new opportunity and growth. The view from the peaks that give you the grace of reflection along the road already traveled and the anticipation of what lies ahead as the journey unfolds before you. The depth of the valleys that give us the gift of not looking too far ahead or lingering too long on what’s behind us, but keeping us fully in the present taking in all the light and the dark of our moment to moment surroundings.
What a spectacularly soul breaking, heart growing year 2019 was for so many of us. So many twists and turns over the miles and miles travelled. So many tragedies and miracles I was honored to both be a part of and to witness. There was a quote I read years ago . . . “there are years that ask questions, and years that answer.” For me, 2019 was a year of both and neither at times and in the end, as I look back it was the year that gave “acceptance” . . .
Acceptance for me is to embrace what is . . . especially that which I cannot explain or even understand, and yet know it in my bones to be true and real. Acceptance that we need both questions and answers, light and dark, peaks and valleys, and all of the heartbreak and soul growth in between. My road to acceptance was full of pit stops, and each pit stop seemed to have a new cave that I needed to enter. Some of those spaces felt like a dark, fear-filled abyss and others so full of light and life it took my breath away. As 2019 delivered cave after cave, my fears grew smaller and smaller and the force of knowing within me grew so deep and broad it filled not just me, but all of the spaces I entered.
That knowingness that I now feel and trust was hidden deep inside and was waiting to be unlocked – each cave and experience seemed to have the next clue or key for me. And what I found at the last pit stop was nothing new . . . it was actually a return to the old. A long, slow drive home . . . to myself.
I don’t know why 2019 was the year for me for that journey. I don’t know what words I would use to describe all of the experiences I have been through or all of the learning that resulted. All I know is that now I know me better than I ever have before, and I have that knowledge because I kept going and growing on the oftentimes frightening and unknown road.
I chose to make time and intention for my own discovery and I chose to enter the caves I feared the most. It was my journey of choice, and yet I was never alone in it. I was and am blessed with many guardians at the gates, wise sages, and a relentless tribe of supporters. None of us are meant to journey alone, and for 2020, I wish for you your own journey of unfolding with lots of company that goes and grows with you.
As for me, my sense is that 2020 will feel like a comet on fire. Blazing new roads, coming into all of my current orbits unannounced and full of otherworldly energy. I trust it will continue to burn away what is no longer needed, and light on fire all that is ready to ignite. I can already envision the loving dent of impact this year will leave behind.
There are years that teach you acceptance, and years that set you on fire . . . here’s to 2020 and all the heat it might bring. May we all continue to give ourselves the gift of reflection and of dreaming in the year ahead.
And may we all BE more in the coming year . . .